| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2009|04:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Chromium Bitch - Gary Wilson | ] |
I hate my username. Why did I pick it in the first place? Must have been an impulse decision.
I forgot why I opened this, fuck.
Well I feel numb right now, maybe that's why. I wouldn't call it depressed. Everything will feel better after I sleep, but that's not really solving anything.
Job at Takara is going okay. I wish I had more hours though.
Maybe I'll use this as my personal journal, since nobody reads it anymore/never did.
Where will I go from here? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 22nd, 2008|09:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Sound of Music - Joy Division | ] |
Life has been kind of shit lately. Not like it's anyone's fault buy my own. I've only worked one month out of this whole year back in April (besides a week-long thing at Starbucks last month) , and I feel pathetic over it. I don't know why I do this to myself. I just can't get comfortable in ANY situation. Work, school, or relationships. I seem to fuck them all up because of some subconscious anxiety I have. I'd like to stop now. I'd like to become a more stable person and talk to my friends and not have anxieties about almost everything. I just don't know if I can. But I need to.
I need to find a new job that pays decent, but more than anything I want to go back to school. Nothing would make me happier right now. I want to start up again at MCC as soon as I can. I don't know if spring is possible, I have too many debts to pay off before that. That would be ideal, but it looks like next fall is the soonest I can do it. The thought of choosing classes makes me excited.
Time to go play Final Fantasy XII or something. |
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| Goodbye, Tom. |
[Sep. 21st, 2008|01:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Wild is the Wind - David Bowie | ] |
I was browsing /co/ this morning, and I learned that last night marked the final airing of the "Toonami" block of programming on Cartoon Network. Which is strange, because I just happened to watch an episode of Naruto and Ben 10: Alien Force during it out of pure boredom. Believe me, there is nothing more grating to the ears then a dubbed episode of Naruto, and I have just no idea what's going on in Ben 10. Anyway, it's not as if I watch Toonami anymore, but this made me feel nostalgic.
Toonami was a big part of my early teen years. I have fond memories of watching Rurouni Kenshin, Tenchi Muyo, and of course, Dragonball Z. I remember coming home from school and watching the next "exciting" chapter of Dragonball Z whenever a new arc was showing by myself, or with my friend Mike. It was pretty much my source for anime at the time, and it was also the time of my life when I was most into anime.
I guess seeing the block being constantly replaced as the source for anime and action shows with Adult Swim and shit like Miguzi should have been a blatantly obvious sign that things were sprialing downward for it. I haven't watched it in years either. It does make me nostalgic though, as do so many things lately.
But yeah, I really should post here more often. Maybe it will keep me focused on things. I don't know. Next post will probably be more about serious shit in my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 22nd, 2007|01:09 am] |
Livejournal. It's so full of drama. But let's not get into that.
Been having an awesome time lately watching The Office with the person who I feel the most like "me" around, Molly. Like Kira said, I don't where I'd be without her. It makes me happy to share that sort of thing with her. We've watched all of Season one and two and most of three, all in the last week and we only have one disc left, then new episodes start in less than a week. Perfect timing. =)
10-hour days at the domain empire aren't so bad. It hardly feels like anything more than a typical 8-hour day and I get three days off in a row. I don't share any days off with people I know, but at least I get some time to myself. Sales have been sucky, but I've been taking alot of calls and getting lots of praise from my customers. Oh yeah, and a pornstar called in today. Her name was Pamela Peaks, and she had what looked like beachballs attached to her chest. Yeah, the guy sitting next to me was gawking the whole time, but at least it's better than when any kind of female walks by and he talks about how he's going to "tap that ass", along with the hand gestures to make sure I know exactly what he means.
Can't wait for things to put into motion, mostly me, Molly, and Dan moving out in a month or so. It should be a much, much better experience than last time. At least I know I can live with Molly, as I practically have for weeks at a time before when I just wouldn't want to go home.
But yeah. Gotta get up at 8. Night all. <3
EDIT (hours later, after sleep and now at work): Also, Snake is a badass. Can't wait to use him in Brawl.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2007|08:14 pm] |
Shitty day is shitty.
Updating from work because I have no appetite for lunch. I stopped by the bank before work to deposit a check from my grandma for $100, which is great because I haven't been payed yet and it actually put some money in my bank account, bringing the total balance to $100.18. So I was happy I finally had some money.
Then my tire blew out on the freeway. Car started vibrating really violently out of nowhere and I pulled over and checked it out. It was torn to shreds. So, of course I had to change it, and ended up being late to work (also missed the exit and had to turn completely around, which took an extra half-hour in traffic). So that was great. Got to work 45 minutes late, and now have to borrow more money from my parents for tires, adding to my debt, and postponing me moving out again. The most annoying part is, I probably just ran over a nail on the road or something stupid like that.
Ugh. Just want this day to be over. Training's so boring. |
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| Sick of having bad days. |
[Sep. 1st, 2007|06:41 pm] |
Finished my first week of "re"-training at GoDaddy-dot-com. It feels kind of pathetic how I quit two months ago and now I have to sit through it again...like a total waste of time. At least I'm getting payed, but I still feel like I should be doing something else other than zoning out for 8 hours a day 5 days a week.
Moved out of the house a week ago not only because I couldn't afford rent, but also because things weren't going smoothly near the end. Mike ended up not being a great person to live with or lend money to. I just stayed in my room most of the time because I didn't feel like the house was mine at all, so I didn't want to have much to do with it. I had a hard time sleeping most of the time there, just because it didn't feel right there.
So, living with my old roommates again (...my parents), and things are okay I guess. At least there's actually food in the house to eat, and I don't have to worry about mine being eaten and almost never being paid back. Ugh. What an asshole thing to do, right?
I really wonder about moving out with my friends now, because me and Mike were getting along pretty well before that, and I haven't talked to him since I moved out, besides a Myspace comment that he hasn't replied to. I don't really care much, though. =/
I wish I had money again so I could buy some new games or see some movies, and especially pay back the debts I now owe. Mike owes me $200 that I'll probably never see again, but I guess it's my own fault for helping him out in the first place. What a great friend he turned out to be. :( |
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| Things I'm excited for: |
[Aug. 21st, 2007|05:57 pm] |
-Having a stable job and income again.
-Moving out with Molly and possibly Kira.
-Going back to school as early as spring semester.
-Super Smash Brothers Brawl in December.
Hope all these things work out for me. :) |
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| Why is nobody ever online anymore? |
[Dec. 23rd, 2006|07:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | FFXII music. | ] |
Got my Wii today. Can't play it til Christmas though. I'm so anxious; I haven't felt so eager for a new system since the N64 came out. Now just to wait another year or so for Smash Bros. =[
Got off work at 10:30 tonight...luckily didn't have to do much in the way of closing. Just bought my Wii and left. I felt bad for Enoch though, since the store looked terrible after I left. Can't reach Molly either...that kind of worries me. Hopefully she's just asleep. =/
I go in one hour after opening tomorrow at 9 and work til 5. Then on Christmas Eve I work from 9-7. I'm not really complaining though; I'm glad I'm getting so many hours. It feels like my old jobs now though, just sleep and work. I still like this job more though, cuz at least I get to be social. Co-workers are awesome too.
Still feel bad for not hanging out with Tyler, but the last few days I HAVE been busy. Other people though...not so much. I'm starting to tell myself I don't need to hang out with people when I really don't want to. Often I find myself replying to a "wanna hang out tonight?" from certain people with a "not really..." and then being suckered into it anyway because of my weak willpower. So lately, like I said in my previous post, I just ignore these people. But that's not right either. I just need to speak my opinion, and that's the only way I can really feel good about myself.
Anyway, it was a day of highs and lows. I've been getting stressed alot lately, and I feel so much better when I'm chill and easygoing, so I need to work on that. The Christmas rush is madness, though. Wanted to put a bullet in my head a number of times. I kept making stupid mistakes too, like actually losing a game boy game during a transaction with a customer. I felt so stupid. Anyway, I have to get up in 7 hours so I guess I'll end it here.
Night, livejournal. *wave* |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2006|09:27 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Gackt. | ] |
Finding my own Christmas present this year, haha. Parents gave me the money for the Wii, and I think I know how I'm gonna get it. But yeah.
Zelda looks amazing. It's so weird; I can't get it off my mind. =[ Maybe I'm too addicted to video games. But oh well.
It's weird...no matter how much my life seems to change, it doesn't. But at the same time, I guess it does. It's just a gradual process.
I genuinely thought I might not see Julie again, and had kind of accepted that. But out of the blue, she organizes a get-together with everybody and we hang out again. I mean, maybe it's just her habit of going back and forth between friends, but I don't care to get into that; this isn't about her.
Yikes, this entry started out about the Wii, and now it's exploring the reaches of my confined thoughts.
I have to ask myself why I don't answer the phone sometimes when people call, but at any given time I'll text them and be like "we should totally hang out!" I do this almost to everybody except to one person, and she knows who she is. The answer for why I don't do it her isn't the question; that's just because I feel the most comfortable around her at any given time, because we've shared so many experiences over the past year. I just wonder why I do this to my other friends. I'd like to think the answer is deeper than the conclusion of me just being an ass.
But yeah. I feel like I need to interrogate myself sometimes to get these answers out. What gets me most is when I do this to Tyler. I mean, some answers fill my head rather quickly, like being weary of all the change he brings when he is here, and also how jealous I get of him for almost everything, down to the the rather ridiculous and hardly justifiable.
*sigh* This definately isn't a very good friend thing to do. Maybe I have to work on that. I know I care about his friendship...I'd like to hope I care about it as much as he does. He's been back here almost a week, and I haven't even tried to see him. I mean, I've been busy somewhat and so has he to a greater degree I'm sure, but that's really just an excuse. I think he was right when he said I had a comfort zone that I don't like stepping out of much. In this case though, it's more of a person than a zone. Nothing against Molly; she's my best friend in the whole world. I think I owe it to Tyler to chill with him sometime soon though, before he gets the impression I'm avoiding him, which from what Molly tells me, is the conclusion he's trying to deny, even if it's true, in a way.
Just need to to get over some things, I guess.
Jeez, was it always this cold in Arizona in the winter? =/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2006|07:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Seven Deadly Sins - Flogging Molly | ] |
Depressed now that I'm home alone.
Playing Gears of War to Flogging Molly music in-game provided some good laughs though. =p It felt good to relax like that, and not stress about work and such. Or at least, not stress about not going in even if I was asked to on a day-off.
Taking a break from the...normal. Don't know what it'll do, but it's at least got me thinking about my life. And I have lots more thinking to do. |
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| What else to do... |
[Dec. 14th, 2006|08:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Runner High ~FLCL Version~ - The Pillows | ] |
Inuyasha's on and I'm done playing FFIII for now, so what else to do but make an LJ entry?
Just about over being sick; it was pretty short and painless for my traditional holiday sickness. Called out of work today so I could recover, and so it wouldn't get any worse like yesterday. Felt kinda bad; I hope they found someone else to fill in for me. Gonna start looking for a new job, and keep EB Games as my side job hopefully. The pay and the hours are just too pitiful, and I can't even really meet all my responsibilities with what I make. I like it and all, but unfortunately, I need money. =[
Thinking of going back to school too. Maybe even as soon as next month. I'll try and force myself tomorrow to look through my course booklet, and find classes that interest me to make a full day. That makes two jobs (possibly) and school. Can Chris do it? We'll have to see. =]
Beyond that, just same old same old. Maybe one day I'll pour all the thoughts that are constantly on my mind onto here, but not now. Things are okay though. If I do go back to school and get a second job with more hours, I'll be much more productive. Hopefully not too productive...as I value my free time more than most other things.
Oh, and the last day or two of being up in Portland was very fun. Got to see my first (and hopefully not last) professional play ever, and I was amazed. It was called "I am my own wife", and it was about a German transvestite during World War II, with one guy on stage playing all the roles himself. Very amusing. =] Oh, and I tried more sushi. I'm close to liking the stuff.
Oh, and I don't work tomorrow. I'm happy. =] |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2006|02:42 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | energetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Christmas music in the bg. | ] |
Sitting down to make an entry because I can. =]
Been a busy last couple of days. I saw The Fountain and Stranger than Fiction, both pretty good movies. The Fountain was a little out here, and I kind of had to try to make sense out of it after it ended so quickly. It wasn't quite what I expected.
Stranger than Fiction was really entertaining, and it was interesting to see Will Ferrel in a semi-serious role, though the movie still had light comedy to it, it wasn't the ridiculous kind of comedy like in Anchorman and Talladega Nights. Anyway, it was really good, and clever.
Drove out to the coast today so Molly could see the beach for the first time ever. Two hour drive...lots of trees. Got a new necklace at a trinket shop there, and I really like it. <3
Going to sushi in fourty-five minutes or so now. =] So I guess that's all for now.
Chris out! |
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| Fffeee and Poat-wind. |
[Dec. 5th, 2006|07:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mortal Kombat - Techno Syndrome | ] |
Final Fantasy III is simple, addictive RPG fun.
I feel like I'm being bitched at all the time at work and at home. I feel so useless.
Going to Portland Wednesday morning with Molly hopefully. It feels like everything falls through as of late, so I really, really hope this works out still. =/ If I go, I'll be gone til Monday, and hopefully taking a nice break from life here.
Mortal Kombat has such awesome techno-y songs. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2006|07:36 am] |
Have my computer back and running, but it's not anymore fixed than it was before. Maybe this thing is just doomed. =/
Oh well, posted since I feel devoted to posting here. Back to FFXII. |
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| Eff Eff Twelve |
[Nov. 6th, 2006|10:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | FINAL FANTASY ~FFXII version~ | ] |
My love of Final Fantasy is rekindled. I feel like a kid again. =] |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2006|09:30 am] |
OMG one and a half more days til FFXII comes out! And I don't even work tomorrow. Awesome. =D
Smash Bros. tourney is on the 3rd, too. Excited. >=]
EDIT: Prizes are a ticket to animefest, two tickets to video games live, and a $20 certificate to Atomic Comics. Mostly I just want to win though. |
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| Taw-kee-tos. |
[Oct. 24th, 2006|09:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | FFIX in the bg on the phone with Molly. | ] |
I feel like my tear ducts are dry anymore.
Just so frustrated with everyone, including myself. Life update? Well I still have my job, and close friends. That's a feel-good thing to know. |
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| Eternal Sunshine |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|09:56 pm] |
My computer is so filled with pop-ups. Ugh. >_<
Had a very good weekend. I had to work Saturday evening, but I still got to spend mid-day with Molly, and then went cosmic bowling with her, Tara, and the two Jessicas. Lots of fun, even though I suck. Got last place, I think. XD
Then today I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Molly. It was a really good movie...she always picks such great movies to watch. =) It's become another one of my favorites.
Got home early tonight, because her mom was mad at her for some reason. Now I'm probably gonna make some ramen and watch adult swim, and probably play some pokemon. Night. =) |
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| ♥ |
[Sep. 26th, 2006|02:29 am] |
Hehe. |
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moonchildkoriku's journal